How do you feel about paying your kids? Are you for the practice or against? We have a pretty hard line in our home – Nobody gets paid. It is a rule based on fairness. Families are a team effort and while most often the parents carry the team everybody has a position to play. Everybody does something to make the house run. When the kids were little I used to put socks on their hands and charge them with dusting anything below my kneecaps. Did they like it? Maybe not, but kids that age will do anything if you sing it. For almost 8 years nobody talked in our house, we sang. Everything… ‘Who will set the table?”… “I will, I will… lalalala” and so on. Things got done because we made it fun. That works when the kids are little because their currency is ‘fun’.

By the time they get into school they come to appreciate actual currency, the paper kind that can be traded for goods, services and candy. They want money! They want it and the internal struggle begins. Do you pay kids for helping out around the house? Is allowance a good thing? Should allowance be connected to performance? I go to work every day and I get paid for doing a job. If I ask my kids to do a job for me shouldn’t they be fairly compensated? Perhaps, but I get paid to do jobs for people I don’t live with (much to their relief) I do not get paid to work at home. At last count in our home I currently hold 6 full-time positions, 23 part-time ones and a host of special consultation gigs. I know my family pretty well, there is no way they can afford me, so I work pro bono (Oh but if they could afford me…imagine.. ChaChing!)

We have deemed in our home that most things you do because they are required as part of caring for yourself, and being respectful of the people you live with, chores are the requirement of holding a position on the team. Rooms get cleaned and laundry gets washed, dishes get put in the dishwasher (on occasion) because you cannot live in filth or smell like gym socks and paper and plastic are environmentally irresponsible. The reciprocal effects of your efforts are having room to entertain your friends, friends who want to share your fresh scented company and an absence of salmonella and listeria.

For everything else my kids go to the bank of Mom. Yes, sorry to all those parents who claim not to be a bank; you are. Might as well think like one… If you want money from me, there had better be some in your account or you better have good credit.

My kids fill up their mom accounts with extra courtesies. Maybe you folded a load a laundry or watched your brother after school; deposits to the Mom bank. Maybe you want to go to the movies on Saturday night or want to join your little friends on a run to the corner store for neon green and blue slushies; withdrawals from the Mom bank. Help goes in, privileges come out.

It all works pretty well; the kids get to earn some privileges without my actually paying for their efforts to keep the house running smoothly. As far as cash money, they earn a respectable amount through birthdays, babysitting gigs, and odd jobs for people they don’t live with. Our son is the very best at saving up his cash money for big purchases. It is funny just how quickly they figure out that Mom and Dad are not shelling out for any item that could cause bodily injury.

I am sure that there are better, simpler approaches to the allowance dilemma, some work, some don’t, we have tried most on and one thing is certain; you have to use what works with your values and family. What really works for our family right now is the kids starting to get real life jobs; jobs with schedules and pay stubs, bosses and responsibilities. Jobs that encourage their own spending and improve the healthy bottom line of the Mom Bank. Now I’m not so much credit manager as I am financial advisor. If I do this new job right they might just be able to pay me for my pro bono work someday!

You can also find Michelle at her blog The Space Between Raindrops, sharing wisdom, gratitude and humour.

This is an incredibly inspiring, motivating video about wisdom? How do you define wisdom?

The other day I asked a group of parents what concerns them most about what goes on in their child’s classroom.

One mom said that what concerns her most is that she has no idea what is going on. When I asked what she wanted to know about, she said, “Everything!!”

Good for her. It is time we parents started to wonder – out loud – what is going on.

Long past time.

The biggest “What the heck was going on?” in my professional experience was the case of a girl who failed grade 7 in an Ottawa public school – for being truant and for not doing the assigned work.

Yes, the girl failed; she was not allowed to go on to grade 8.

But, in the bigger picture, the girl didn’t fail. The girl was failed.

Failed by the system that didn’t notice she couldn’t read. For 8 years, from SK to the end of grade 7 – no one noticed or did anything about the fact that she couldn’t read. Couldn’t read so much a picture book.

Failed by her parents who also didn’t notice her illiteracy and who dismissed her cries for help –the truancy and the refusal to do the school work – as nothing more than a poor pre-teen attitude.

Sadly, this is not an isolated case.

That pre-teen who couldn’t read Alborough’s Duck in the Truck at the end of grade 7 could well have been that cutie in SK who couldn’t rhyme or count words in a sentence, but who, the teachers said, “just wasn’t as mature as the other kids.” She could have been that angel in grade 2 who couldn’t count syllables or remember the alphabet, but who, the teachers said, “will catch up soon.” She could have been the shame-faced child in grade 3 whose report card always said how disruptive she was, but never mentioned that she didn’t read as well as a child in early grade 1.

There’s no excuse.

We begin teaching pre-reading skills in SK – and sometimes in JK. When kids enter grade 1, the academic focus is not much wider than emergent literacy and numeracy skills.

By the time a child is at the end of grade 1 – and usually a lot earlier – we know – if we’ve been properly trained to teach and assess reading – if her literacy skills are developing appropriately.

So, why is it that so many struggling readers are not being identified earlier?

Yes, we can blame the institution. If these children were patients under the care of a doctor, and the results were similar – we’d be reading about lawsuits for malpractice.

But, we also need to point the finger at ourselves. These are our children. We care the most. We are ultimately responsible.

What do we know about the curriculum in an elementary classroom? Have we bothered to find out how much time our children spend learning to read? Do we know and understand the approach the teacher is taking? Is that approach working for our child? Do we know about alternative approaches?

We have no problem checking site after site on the internet to find out what the milestones are for language or fine motor development when our children are infants. Do we demonstrate the same level of active curiosity and concern once we hand them over to the government’s schools? Or do we just wait for our children to be “educated” and handed back to us?

If our children needed medical care, would we offer them up as blindly to a surgeon as we do to their teachers and schools? Wouldn’t we do a lot of research and ask a lot of questions? Wouldn’t we demand to know what is going to happen in the operating room?

Why is it, then, that we don’t demand to know – in detail – what’s going on in our children’s classrooms?

Why do we settle for the impersonal canned comments on report cards?

Why do we settle for rushed teacher meetings in which the sole focus is the child – the one with the least power to control the outcome?

Why do we sit, like chastened children ourselves, trying to explain Suzie’s inability to get with the programme instead of sitting up straight, looking the system straight in the eye, and demanding an explanation of why the programme is failing to meet Suzie’s needs?

Why?

Diane L. Duff is a certified high school English and French teacher and a former private school principal. She provides literacy and academic assessment / consulting to students throughout Ontario. As well, she conducts teacher professional development (and/or parent training) workshops throughout Canada in the areas of reading development, dyslexia, and structured language teaching. Diane is currently completing a Master’s degree in literacy and Montessori teacher training. For more information, visit www.dianeduff.ca

My kids and I both enjoyed this book! It is geared towards a younger age group; I’d say 3-6. The book follows a little girl, Sophie, who has lost her bear. We follow her on a geographic alphabet adventure across Canada in her search to find the lost Bear.

My youngest is just starting to recognize the letters of the alphabet so this was a great book for her. She is also very curious about the sounds the letters make, so the words and images that accompanied each letter were a good way to help teach the sounds.

The book contained images of famous landmarks and location specific things to each province which kept the kids interested in each page.

Reviewed by Gwen, our Green Living blogger

When our kids are young we surround them with sunshine stories and happy endings. There’s nothing wrong with this but as our kids get older they deal with and explore varied emotions, some happy, some sad, some angry, some confused. Books are a great way to explore these emotions and question feelings and circumstances.

Groundwood Books‘ Harvey. How I Became Invisible (age 10+ ) written by Hervé Bouchard and illustrated by Janice Nadeau, is a tale told from a young Harvey about the sudden loss of his father to a heart attack. After playing with friends one afternoon he arrives home only to find to his house surrounded by strangers with eyes full of pity and sorrow. His distraught mother explains to Harvey and his younger brother Cantin how their father has died.

With pages full of muted grey and brown hues, we follow Harvey as he tries to deal with this change in his life, his mother’s uncertainty about the future, his younger brother’s lack of understanding. Harvey starts to feel like a story character, Scott Carey, who disappears from everyone’s site, invisible. As Harvey tries to absorb the events he too starts to disappear, disassociating himself from the world around him. At the moment he sees his father laying in a coffin, there’s no denying that his father is dead. It’s at this point that Harvey feels he disappears completely, from the life he use to know.

Although the story sounds depressing, I found Harvey a compelling read, feeling Harvey’s struggle with understanding his new world, one without his father. The illustrations add to the feeling of sadness and uncertainty and the text appears handprinted, as though a journal of Harvey’s thoughts. Harvey has a very graphic novel sort of feel.

Obviously due to the subject matter Harvey is aimed at an older child. However for older kids the characterization and illustrations make it an interesting read.

I have to thank Trisha at Groundwood Books for my review copy.

Harvey. How I Became Invisible

age 10+

written by Hervé Bouchard, illustrated by Janice Nadeau

Groundwood Books

Carrie Anne is a contributing book reviewer on Best Tools for School’s blog and No Time for Flash Cards as well as Managing Editor of EverythingMom.com. You can catch up with her and her three kids on her blog Another Day Another Thought… Or Two.

I love the outdoors, but mostly from April to October. From November until the end of March, I hibernate. I didn’t realise this until I went through the thousands and thousands of pictures I had taken of my children last year, and saw that there were very few shots of them outside in the winter. I felt badly that they were missing out on some of the wonderful winter activities that I enjoyed so much as a child. This year, I have decided to change the way I approach the winter, and introduce my children to winter fun and exercise.

This year, my children and I have already been out tobogganing. We all had so much fun. What I found to be very helpful was the City of Ottawa list of approved toboggan hills.  This is a great resource because each toboggan hill has a short blurb written about the hill. The description includes the size of the hill, whether or not there is parking, and further relevant information pertaining to each particular hill. This allows you to choose a hill that will best suit your family.

There are 248 outdoor skating rinks in Ottawa. On the City of Ottawa website, there is a complete list. The list is divided into east and west locations. It also includes the type of ice surface and whether there are washrooms available. It also lets you know if each rink has boards, lights, and supervision. The only thing left to do is to get out and skate. Don’t forget your camera!

The easiest winter activity to do as a family is to build a snow fort. This can be as simple or as challenging as you make it. When I was a kid, my older brother used to build extreme forts, with tunnels and towers. I used to decorate the site with snow angels and snowmen. The point was, we could do this together, it costs no money, and it’s fun. The best part? The snowball fights at the end!

Gwen H.

Gwen blogs at www.usvsthekids.blogspot.com. She can also be found on Twitter @GwenVsTheKids

With the hustling and bustling of the most wonderful time of the year, it is easy to overlook those who are less fortunate.  

The holidays have become so commercialized and focused on ‘consumption’ that the real meaning of the holiday season (no matter what religious or non-religious belief you may have) has been lost in the midst of the tinsel, gift wrap and credit card bills. 

While we run around trying to organize and prepare for our holiday dinners, there are others who may go without a dinner altogether… let alone enjoy the company of loved ones. 

This holiday season, I challenge everyone (with their families) to reconnect with the ‘humanity’ and good will that is innate within all of us.  Volunteering at a local soup kitchen creates experiences that are life changing and help us to re-realize what matters… each other.  You will be helping to provide physical nutrition, but you will also be creating mental and emotional nutrition for everyone involved… food for the soul. 

BlogTO recently made a listing of local soup kitchens here. 

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! 

❤❤❤❤ Peace, Love and Cupcakes

~ Nerissa

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With the Holiday Season fast approaching here are 8 items I would recommend and put on my yoga wish list any day.

Gift Card / Class pass – This type of gift is always greatly appreciated for the newbie who wants to give yoga a try to the yoga enthusiast.  Don’t worry if you can only purchase a one class drop in.  Yoga enthusiasts know the value of a yoga centre drop in fee and any donation to our yoga practice is always appreciated Expect to invest up to $20 for a drop in 90 minute blissful yoga session. 

TranquiliT Cardi Shawl – This piece of clothing is a staple in my wardrobe and I am hoping to get a new one this Christmas as I have worn mine out!  TranquiliT sells beautiful clothing that is ever so soft!  I have a few other pieces of their collection and have always worn them to the max!

The Happiest Tree  – This book is read every session in my preschool classes.  Read and learn about Meena as she uses yoga to help her get ready for an upcoming class play she is struggling with.

Shanti the Yogi dvd   – I am a true believer that if we are going to teach kids yoga it needs to be lead by experienced and knowledgeable yoga teachers who shine while teaching children. Snatam Kaur does just this.  With her beautiful grace and presence this dvd is a great way to introduce yoga to your children at home.

MC Yogi- Mantras and worldly insight all done to a great beat!  My older kids always ask for “Be The Change” a powerful song about Ghandi.  With a hip beat the Sun Salutations fly and the kids stay smiling!

Lululemon Everywhere Bag – I have used my lululemon bag as a diaper bag, travel bag, purse, fitness classes and much more!  There are always a variety of colours but after 5 years of use my black one still has tons of life left! Black coloured bags won’t look dirty, stained or worn over time with use.

Yoga Mat - Everyone needs a mat to practice on, it’s a place where you celebrate your personal practice.   For kids colour can be fun, especially a different colour for each child in your family to ensure everybody has their own place and space to practice.

Capital Yoga Publishing  Applications  – CYP is the fantastic work of Ottawa yoga teacher, Jamine Ackert.  Check out CYP great yoga apps buy respected yoga teachers.  Having the privilege of studying with Jamine at past yoga teacher trainings I am excited to see her classes now available to the world.

*Please note that I was not compensated in any way for the mentioning of any above services or products. They are all my personal opinion.

_____

Amanda

www.amandadegrace.ca

http://littlelotusyoga.ca/

*images from tranquilit.com, leeandlow.com, shop.lululemon.com

Want to write for Best Tools for Schools?

Best Tools for Schools is fortunate to have some great bloggers contributing to our site.  They provide you, our readers, with useful information about books, food, education, parenting, organizing, green living and more.

But there’s still more that we want to share with you so we are looking for 2 new bloggers to join our team.

Please see the blog descriptions below and let us know if you think you would be a great fit!

What are we looking for in a contributor?

 -2-4 posts a month.

-Knowledge/ability to write about one of the topics listed below.

Please note that contributions are voluntary positions but we will gladly include your link/blog information in the bio section of the blog.

Why write for Best Tools?

-A great readership of parents, educators and more

-Link to your blog/website

-The opportunity to work with a community driven business, and some pretty fun people.

What 2 new blogs would we like to start?

1) Test Kitchen

We get some great food tips, recipes and entertaining ideas from our fabulous blogger Tracey Black, but this new blog would focus solely on recipes or possibly food products that you use/test in your kitchen with the focus on:

-Quick and timely recipes

-Nutrition

-Do the kids approve? (and we know that the kids won’t like every recipe, but we’re curious to know their thoughts!)

2) Outside the classroom

We know that parents, students and teachers have a lot going on outside of the classroom; Hockey practice, school fundraisers, community engagement and more.  This blog will focus on what’s happening in and around schools and communities, what students are doing after school (sports? Other programs?).  On occasion, the blogger will receive some information for their blogs from Best Tools for Schools.

If you are interested in joining the Best Tools for Schools Blogging team, please email us a bit about yourself, the blog you are interested in and why you’d be a good fit to Rebecca@toolsforschools.ca by Friday, November 19.

Thanks for helping us continue to provide great information to our readers.

Tomorrow is Remembrance Day.  With young children it’s hard to know how much information to give them about November 11.  Most will have a ceremony or assembly at their school, but it’s our responsibility as parents to open that dialogue as well.  When I put on my red poppy pin the other day, my son asked me why I was wearing it.  For some reason I hesitated at first, carefully trying to decide my words.  And then I realized I was protecting him from nothing by not using words like veterans, war, remembering.  So we started talking.

I wanted to keep it simple, so mostly stuck with poppy discussions and war planes (because we are huge Aviation Museum fans).  We went online to find some resources to talk about that were age appropriate for him (he’s four) and then today went to the Aviation Museum to spot airplanes that were used in the wars.

 It was a fruitful discussion, kept as light as we could for his age, but started a conversation that is important to have.  He needs to know why on November 11 we remember.

Here are a few websites with some Remembrance day activities to do with the kids! Grab your Crayola Paints, Elmer’s Glue and Fiskars scissors and get ready.

Veteran Affairs Canada – resources for parents and teachers.  Read the story about Animals and War and play the board game (print out).  It was well received by my son.

Word Scramble/Word Search

Coffee Filter Poppy